CaffeiNation

I read recently that there will be a bill introduced in New Jersey that would prohibit youth from buying super-caffeinated drinks and supplements. While I whole-heartedly applaud this move -- especially on a health conscious level -- it doesn't bode well that the same bill failed after its introduction in Maine.

But in a way it seems a bit un-American. How will we continue as a nation of speed freaks if we don't indoctrinate our children? Let's face it -- if you're into speed, this is the country for you. You can't go a mile in any direction without running into a Starbuck's. I think this country would threaten grinding to a halt if we didn't have our daily fix.

I can't pretend to be holier-than-thou. I've taken to having a couple cups of java after I get to work. In small doses, caffeine is beneficial to mental acuity. As opposed to the serious addicts that drink a pot a day or more, I have no problem cutting myself off at a cup or two -- probably because the sludge available in the office is at best a barely palatable caffeine delivery system.

A word or three about the picture at the top of this post. The names given to these energy drinks run the gamut from humorous to frightening. The pictured drink's logo is a direct reference to Nitrous Oxide Systems -- a company that has been around since the 80s (at least, I'm pretty sure they're still around). I wonder if anyone but a gearhead would know the reference to drag racing and horsepower boosting.

There are many more -- Jolt, Hype, Awake, Red Bull, Cocaine.... Let's stop there. Cocaine? Yes, some marketing genius decided that an energy drink should be called Cocaine. Is this really a word that we want to have more than one meaning or reference? I think the one is quite enough. The drink's inventor, James Kirby, said, "It's an energy drink and it's a fun name. As soon as people look at the can, they smile." I think these are smiling people I don't want to meet.

We have enough problems with real drugs in this country -- cocaine from South America and opiates from the Middle East, to say nothing of the widespread abuse of prescription drugs -- without marketing speed to our youth. They have more than enough energy, in my experience. If they don't, what they need is more sleep, better nutrition, and a higher level of activity -- or a trip to the doctor -- not a canned, temporary boost that gives them high blood pressure and a sugar crash.