Spring Forward, Fall Down

Once again, I find myself suffering under the governmentally imposed jet-lag that accompanies the start of Daylight Saving Time -- which has often been erroneously attributed to Benjamin Franklin who, while he was envoy to France, published an anonymous letter suggesting that Parisians economize on candles by rising earlier to use morning sunlight.

But he did not actually suggest Daylight Saving Time. That distinction goes to William Willett, a prominent English builder and outdoorsman who observed with dismay back in 1905 how many Londoners slept through the best part of the summer day. He also disliked having to cut short his round of golf at dusk.

The United States instituted Daylight Saving Time in 1918, and for the past ninety years we've been shuffling our clocks back and forth twice a year in an effort to make the most of our allotted sunlight.

Bollocks. It's a double-edged sword in the Spring as well as the Fall. I absolutely live for the long summer evenings, but since I'm not a morning person to begin with, it makes the torture of the alarm clock -- the most ghoulish invention since the iron maiden -- even more excrutiating. Additionally, as opposed to "regular" jet-lag, the pain drags on for weeks until my body's circadian rhythms readjust themselves.

In the Fall I finally reclaim the hour of lost sleep that has eluded me for six months. Unfortunately, it also means that my existence is that of a complete troglodyte as I get up in the dark, drive to work in near darkness, work in an office without windows, and drive home at night -- even though it's only five o'clock. I have a new-found empathy for the Russians and Scandinavians who live near the Arctic Circle and spend the Winter perfecting their vodka.

With that in mind, for the time being, I'll don my Ray-Ban's for the drive home and then enjoy the sunset from my deck with a pitcher of vodka martinis. Za Vashe Zdorov'ye!